Imagining I’m my companion

My companion (f) is away touring. At the moment I (m) was practising pleasuring myself with semen retention, concentrating on respiration and being aware, not fantasising about something sexual simply every contact and stroke. As I got here near orgasm I began to shake and shutter as I’ve achieved up to now however then it began to get extra intense and jogged my memory of one among her orgasms and as quickly as I made that connection it felt like she was inside me or I used to be her having the orgasm, it simply saved going and I saved respiration by it and felt extra as I used to be my feminine girlfriend having the orgasm and fewer like me having a male dry orgasm, I used to be virtually unaware of my penis. I let it subside and repeated the method and it occurred once more. I felt an important peace after it. Very unusual. I’m unsure if it’s as a result of I miss her or simply I’ve by no means considered my physique in that means earlier than, it was probably the most intense dry sexual experiences thus far.

Has anybody had this sort of factor earlier than?

Is there a method to work with it?

Suggestions discovering a Tantra companion?

Does anybody have any solutions on discovering a Tantra companion? That is coming from a 34 yr previous male on the east coast/New England. All my earlier companions have been fairly sexually repressed and I’m reluctant to speak about Tantra with a possible companion as a result of I assume they will misread my intentions / assume I’m simply speaking about wanting intercourse.

Any solutions? I really feel like a giant a part of my life is lacking and I’m feeling slightly hopeless about discovering a correct companion.

Thanks in your time.